We love IIPM. All hail Arindam Chaudhuri and Planman Consulting. Down with Rashmi Bansal and JAM!

Everything about IIPM rocks. Starting with our four storey buildings that are entire campuses in themselves. And they have parking lots too. And the mess food! Ooh la la! Prepared by expert cordon bleu chefs from France! It goes so perfectly with the Chardonnay served straight on the rocks (in our heads). To speak nothing of our Harvard, Yale and Columbia profs!

We have students who go to Haas at UCLA! Just like going to St. Stephens at IIT Delhi. The experience is incomparable and unimaginable! I just can't wait for my formidable six figure salary and IIPM degree! Of course, that could take a while since we don't have AICTE or UGC accreditation yet. A mere technicality, though.

Dr. Chaudhuri is our friend, philosopher and guide; apart from being one of the most respected and eminent economists with a ponytail in India. Even the world, maybe. How dare anyone question his credentials? He has a degree from IIPM! And a gold medal too!

It is thanks to him that we take courses that EVEN THE IIMS DO NOT TEACH. The nature of these courses varies widely - another tribute to IIPMs versatility. Some claim to have studied religious methods of business management and so on. Of course, this is also reflected by the E-PAT test that we undergo to make it to these reputed institutes. After all, EQ counts, not IQ. Who needs math to be a manager!

Mr. Chaudhuri (nay! Dr. Chaudhuri) is a visionary! He single-handedly revived the career of an ageing Sunny Deol in his epic movie "Rok Sake to Rok Lo". Who could ever have pictured Sunny Deol in a children's movie? A casting coup like never before!

We are greater than any other management institute in India. This is reflected by the amount of money we spend on advertisement to attract top-notch brains from all over the country. Even the IIMs do not advertise so much.

JAM magazine is just a bunch of people who think of themselves as modern day Sculleys and Mulders in search of the truth. Here's what I think - In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson from "A Few Good Men" - YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH, JAM MAGAZINE. You're just jealous of our AWESOME 4 lakh rupee salaries (of which only 1.8 is fixed). Goes to show what confidence companies have in our talents - a whole 2.2 lakh is performance based! Never mind that engineering college graduates get paid more than us. But who gets to take our intellectually stimulating jobs. We're all DSAs. Beat that.

We have a lot of things to say about the criticism that detractors of IIPM are producing. Like how Rashmi Bansal is a lesbian and got thrown out of IIMA. Never mind that these are personal remarks. That's why we're discrediting the fact that she actually CLEARED THE CAT AND MADE IT TO IIMA while WE'RE IN IIPM. SHE'S JUST JEALOUS THAT SHE COULDN'T DARE TO THINK BEYOND THE IIMs.

Freedom of speech and expression? What's that got to do with this anyway! Nobody has the right to express herself or himself on the internet against IIPM. Especially not lesbian ex-IIM students who write for JAM. IIPM rocks out. Do you hear? IIPM rocks out. IIPM rocks out. IIPM rocks out. IIPM rocks out. IIPM rocks out.

Hello?

Hello?

Is there anybody out there?

By the way, Rashmi - WAY TO FUCKIN' GO. And if you're lesbian - I'm just giving you another 10000 bonus points.